Posts

Don't come back

Don't come back It started with Sophia Loren. ‘I tell you what,’ said Pete Bradley, his eyes drawn to the page as if by a searchlight, ‘I certainly wouldn’t mind...' He coughed. ‘What?” said Rudie. ‘You wouldn’t mind what?’ Pete winked. ‘You know,’ he said, ‘ you know  exactly what I’m talking about.’ He turned the magazine around and held it up to the light. ‘Lovely,’ he said. ‘Fucking lovely. Look at the tit-cleft on that.’ ‘Uh-huh,’ said Rudie, who was looking around the pub in desperation, searching for any kind of escape route as he attempted to rid himself of the mental image which had propelled itself to the forefront of his mind, feeling sick, as if he’d been made to watch a video of a lion buggering a swan. It made sense, of course, that the worst job in the world would have the worst leaving do. Of course it did he thought, kicking himself under the table - of course it fucking did. ‘You see what I see,’ said Pete Bradley, his face a picture of satisfaction. ‘A
Post a Comment
Read more

Alison's Problem

hey - been meaning to put up newly edited  versions of some short stories for a while now (working on a website for combined music/writing purposes, but slowly) so here is a - significantly altered - version of one which originally appeared on the malcontent site in, I believe, 2015 or 16. hope you enjoy.  Alison's Problem  Craig has been staring at the old, leather-bound book for five minutes now, his interest in it increasing with each passing second. ’This diary …’  ‘It's not a diary,’ I say.  ‘What is it then?’ he says, playfully, or at least pretending at it, ‘because it sure looks like one. Black, A5, distinctly diary-ish of appearance. Look - it even says ‘diary’ on it in gold letters. Did you ever hear that saying darling - if it looks like a duck, and if it quacks like a duck ...’  ‘That book is no duck,’ I say.  ’You’re funny.’  ‘You may be right.’ I smile. ‘And yes, the book was purchased in the diary, year-planner and calendar section of the stationery shop by my da
Post a Comment
Read more

Update and Shake October 21st 2020

Update and Shake October 21st 2020  Hey! Bit of a general house-keeping keep-you-in-the-picture post this, no pained screeds on sciatica or lengthy half-lectures on how to write songs with your eyes closed, just straight, honest factual information delivered with the kind of smile that keeps dentists in business(*1). a few things (3 and a half, I reckon) 1- the 'this taco is not correct' vinyl campaign will be ending in the next day or so - at about 6am GMT on Thursday if you're a seat-of-the-pants, stunt-buying kinda human - so if you want to pledge get in there soon. I will be getting some extra copies - about 60 in total - for sale to people without credit cards (bandcamp, which usually takes PayPal, doesn't accept them for these campaigns) but, AND I CANNOT EMPHASISE THIS ENOUGH, if you're in the US ordering now will save you about $20 in mailing costs alone, so please, save yourself some money if you're so inclined. Anyway, the whole thing has been a huge s
5 comments
Read more